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How to Find Your Real Self Again

On the surface it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us. We give into the need of choosing others happiness and needs above our own. When you are a natural care-taker or giver, it feel right to neglect your own needs for those around you. We view this as how we show love and support.

But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside. You get lost in the shuffle without even realize it's happening. And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else. We believe that by taking time to love ourselves we are being selfish but that couldn't be further from the truth.

If you’re ready to get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 4 ideas to help you rediscover the real you.

1. Quiet the noise in your head

You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything else. This MUST be the first step.

How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing

enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack. My favorite way to begin to quiet all that chatter is meditation.

2. Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways

In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined --that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts.

Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.”

Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it