As I’ve always taught my clients, confidence is energy. It’s something that you embody instead of just something that you say you are. It’s something that you feel in your bones - at the core of your soul - and not just something that you “achieve” when somebody praises you or approves of you.
When your confidence is outsourced from other people and external factors, then you have to prepare yourself for a rollercoaster of emotions all the time. And when I say all the time - I mean all the time.
Somebody said something and now you feel shitty.
Something didn’t happen as planned and now you feel so unsure.
Somebody didn’t recognize your contribution and now you feel worthless.
Something unexpected happened and now you feel confused and lost as though your entire life is falling apart.
Your confidence is always dependent on whatever somebody said or didn’t say, or did or didn’t do - and this is a crappy way to live life.
Here’s the thing my dear ones…
Confidence is a decision.
Yep. Decide that no matter what is happening around you - or not happening - you trust yourself a million percent.
Nobody can do this for you. Not even your coach. In fact, not even God because you have free will and you’re not a puppet.
I was talking about this to my client and she asked something really interesting.
“What about rejections? Isn’t it normal to lose our confidence when we get rejected?”
Mmm .. so true, right?
What a brilliant point!
And I agree. We are humans. Let’s be honest. It sucks when we get rejected.
So how do we navigate rejection and not let this sabotage us and destroy our confidence?
Let me share 3 perspectives on rejection that will hopefully elevate your mindset.
Perspective #1 Rejections Are Natural
STOP associating rejections with your worth as a person, and you know.. be kind to yourself. LOL!
Your worth is intact. It doesn’t diminish just because you got rejected. It also doesn’t increase just because you got approved.
Your worth remains as is.
Rejection is a sign that -
That job is not for you.
That person is not your soulmate.
That friend shouldn’t be part of your life anymore..
When you can accept rejections gracefully, you make space for what is meant for you.
Perspective #2 Rejections Are Healthy
Rejections will redirect you to what is truly made for you.
Rejections will propel you to the next level version of you.
However, I want you to be mindful of energy.
There’s healthy rejection and there’s also toxic rejection.
Healthy people will reject you to release you so you can find what’s best for you.
Toxic people will reject you to push you to prove your value so you’d work harder to please them.
And you never want to engage in that stupid mindgame.
If you have a healthy sense of confidence, you’re going to feel this low frequency and you can extricate yourself from the situation.
Perspective #3 Rejections Magnify Who You Are
Whoah! This is a huge one!
Rejections are like a magnifying glass.
They show who you are.
Healthy people - when rejected - accept it gracefully and move on with their lives. Yes, they cry and feel yucky but they don’t stay in that state for 48 years. It’s just a moment of sadness.
Toxic people - when rejected - force themselves on you. They challenge your boundaries, make you wrong, and they become “victims” and you the villain.
So… which one are you? Healthy or toxic? *Wink*
Nobody is judging you here. Radical honesty is necessary so we can become the best versions of ourselves.
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